My Hypothyroid was undiagnosed.
It nearly ruined my life.
9 years ago I started to pack on a lot of weight. I was an active city goer at the time. Barely drank and regularly danced. The only thing noticeable at the time was that I was in a bad, abusive relationship and wanted to escape.
So I was stressed to the max. I went to several doctors over the next few years as my weight loss efforts stalled.
Finally I escaped my abusive relationship and the stress lessened I lost 20 pounds, but then everything was at standstill. A couple great guys found me attractive and never commented on the weight.
I seized upon the idea that perhaps I had underactive Thyroid. I went to a top doctor and he quickly assured me after testing that that wasn\t the case.
I was at a loss and went crazy for any new diet tip or trick I could find. This would last for a month or two and after no results I would sink into depression and eat.
Fast forward and my weight was high but stable for several years.
Out of the blue I was looking up symptoms of worsening depression and low libido.
I went through a rabbit hole of links and stumbled upon an old test (from 1888 !) that was once the classic test for Hypo Thyroid.
So the cause of my big fat arms turned out not to be fat after all. It was mucin.
This was revelation and started me on a path to finally fidning great thyroid supplements and losing weight. Just as importantly, I finally started to have a fog
over my brain lift, started to feel sexy and like having sex again. Felt alive.
Sometimes I walk around feeling better than I did went I was 13 years old !
It’s hard not to feel a lot of rage at Doctors who were of no help. But that gets me nowhere. And doesn’t bring back the years.
Sadly, just as I started to feel and see improvement, my beloved BF finally gave up on me. He claimed that I had disgusted him for so long and that he couldn’t care less that I had hypothyroid.
He was pretty much my dream guy and it absolutely floored me to have anger and hate directed at me when I had finally found out why I couldn’t lose weight ….
I am sure that with time I will look back and think how awful a soul he was to be so cruel and unforgiving, when I did nothing but love him and want the best.
So coupled with a new found energy and self image I was dealing with a break up of a long term relationship.
Worse, I was living in my Boyfriend’s house. With my rescued cats.
So with nowhere to easily go, no family, no immediate friends, I had to pledge to myself to not slide into depression.
To be brave and to just keep humming along with my weight loss and working hard than ever.
This is all very recent and I am still a creation in progress.
I see my goal weight on the horizon and have several projects that I am determined to complete so I have funds ot really carpe diem the heck out my life and be happy again. Or at least safe and content. For now, I am journaling my pain of being harshly dumped, spit out and rejected by someone I thought to be a true kindred soulmate.
I will update my progress and look to make this blotg a place of healing, information and inspiration. Because if someone as hurt and beaten down as me can be brave and keep on going to get over undiagnosed Hypothyroid, than anyone can follow suit !
Updates to come.